Thursday, April 27, 2017

I am thankful to be the 1 in 8

Being apart of the 1 in 8 is tricky. Am I supposed to be sad? angry? bitter? hurt? Or am I allowed to be happy? Hopeful? Excited? Stronger? Like I said, it's tricky. 
The day I finally accepted that we were being put into the 1 in 8 I found support groups on facebook, some friends and searched the internet. 80% of these ladies/men were sad, angry, bitter, hurt, etc. Which made me think I was supposed to be too. But that wasn't me. So I left those facebook groups, stopped hanging out with those friends and closed down my internet searches. I wanted my life to continue to move and to be happy.


I began seeing a therapist to help me understand certain thoughts and actions of myself and others  and I remember thinking "One day I'll be thankful for infertility, one day I'll be okay that I can't get pregnant." And I'll never forget that day that being the 1 in 8 didn't matter anymore. 

The first day we spent with our birth mom, I sat and waited for her to ask why we couldn't have children because that's what everyone else around me was asking and wondering. But she didn't, so I brought it up, just so she knew how much Lemmon was wanted and needed in our lives. So, I said "We can't have kids." and her response "oh okay, so as I was saying..." Guys! She didn't care! She didn't care if I was the 1 in 8! All she cared about was her baby being loved and taken care of. So why should I care? It doesn't matter how I get my babies here in our family, as long as they are loved and taken care of. So, I simply stopped caring.  I don't want you to think I am insensitive about infertility and we all just need to get over it. That's not what I am saying at all, but if the women who placed her child with me doesn't care, then why should a complete stranger care of why I can't get pregnant. 


I've been watching videos of women talking about their infertility this week and the music and tone of voice is so sad and solemn. Yes, it's a really tough thing to go through (Hi! Went through it over here!) but to be sad and angry and BITTER (that's a huge one) about it won't make the trial any easier. I want National Infertility Awareness week to show how these women are strong and have so much hope and the faith that their God will allow them to be a mother one day and to show people it doesn't matter how my child got here, they are here and loved! 

I am grateful for infertility! How else would our sweet Lemmonade have gotten here. I am grateful I can't get pregnant! How else was I supposed to be the Women God needed me to become. Yes, I am the 1 in 8 but it doesn't need to be an sad, angry, bitter statistic. It's a strong, life changing, faithful trial to have. And I am grateful the Lord knew I could handle it. 


2 comments:

  1. I was told at 10 yrs old i would never have children. But i can say God had other plans for me. I have 4 amazing live children and one angel baby. And if wasnt for LDS i would not be alive today to see these wonder children of mine to grow into wonderful adult. Your story amazes me to how strong and powerful your love for god is.

    Kerry

    ReplyDelete
  2. IVF treatment can offer a solution for fertility problems experienced by both men and women.
    Medicover Fertility is one of the top IVF centres in India that has a host of phenomenally proficient and perceptive IVF specialists of unimpeachable integrity and felicity.

    ReplyDelete